Monday, December 10, 2012
This word describes the weather we've been having lately. Tomorrow is supposed to be very cold. I want to finish clipping my boxwood so they will all match. I sort of quit in the middle for some reason. I never put everything back in place after storing things before the hurricane either. I want to replace the tops on the birdbaths because they look nice filled with snow.
Thank you again for helping me with your wonderful words. We all have to deal with letting a loved one go at some point in our lives. My mother and I both knew her time was at hand and she told me she was not afraid. Even though her body was weak, she was strong of spirit up to the end. She was even able to climb into my big car with the running board to go to the nursing home. She walked inside with my help but we didn't get too far before she agreed to ride to her room in a wheel chair.
Because she was a nurse herself she was able to convey her appreciation of any kind care she was given and everyone admired her for that. There aren't many thank yous and hugs given to professional caregivers by the patients these days. My mother didn't forget. She made me proud and I always tried to make her proud too.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
My mother lost her own mother when she was very young. I think she was around 7 years old and of course it affected her deeply. We all need to be nurtured when we are very young. My aunt Elizabeth looked exactly like my grandmother. My grandfather was handsome even after losing his hair and he had the best laugh I've ever heard. We all adored him. He remarried and we all loved Grandma too. I think this photo of my mother's parents is probably their wedding portrait April 12, 1914.
The flowers in the lobby of the funeral home yesterday were very pretty and my mother would have loved them in real life.
I brought some of the special things she saved over the years to send away with her. A small book of poems with an inscription from my brother Tim dated 1970 with an old picture of him tucked inside. The saddest day in my mother's life was the day he died in 1978 after heart surgery. They had a mutual admiration society that surpassed the normal mother-son bond. I also included a book of poems dated 1974 inscribed from me. I sent her away with the first Christmas card received this year from her friend Tom who still lives in her old condominium complex in Charlotte. I found an old mother's day card from me dated 2006, a picture of our pets, the leash she always used to walk Tabitha, three dog biscuits from Webster, and some chocolate-covered raisins. She never failed to comment about how much she loved these treats covered with her favorite confection. The lipstick kiss on her forehead is from me too.
I helped load her in the small black van that didn't look at all like a mortuary vehicle. I rode up front with the driver and asked him if we could stop by the cottage on our way to the appointment in Basking Ridge and he complied. I wanted her to leave from home.
I chose cremation because the body doesn't have to be embalmed if it's done within 48 hours and there is no public viewing. She wore a flannel black-watch plaid dress that she always favored and she looked like a real sleeping beauty.
After stopping in the driveway at the cottage we went to the place and I was with her all the way until the end. I'll scatter her ashes in special places up here and down south in the spring.
My sincere appreciation to all of you who have taken the time to walk with me down this last path with my mother. You will never know how much comfort your wonderful condolences have given me even though we are virtual friends. I hope I will continue to inspire you as you have inspired me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
This photo of my dear departed mother was taken on April 8, 2012 [Easter Sunday]. Your comments have been a great comfort to me during my time of great sorrow. My mother was my biggest supporter and my best friend. We both always loved home and were never bored there. She was a beautiful person inside and out and I'll miss her every day I walk this earth but will carry her in my heart. God bless her and keep her.
Friday, December 7, 2012
My dear 92-year-old mother passed away peacefully early last night. I helped the assistant bathe her before I left the care facility to come home and was headed out the door to walk Webster when I got the news. I made the call to the funeral home and a wonderfully caring member of their staff met me at her bedside shortly after I had my last visit with my mom. I fixed her hair and said my last goodbye in private. Then I helped put her on the stretcher and walked her to the waiting car. Everything fell into place almost effortlessly and my mother's dignity was maintained up to the end.
Today is my first full day as an orphan and I feel very sad but surprisingly strong. Mother always wanted to die in her sleep and she got her wish. We had a great 10 years together, the last 8 spent here at the cottage. It won't be the same without her and neither will I. It was a privilege being her daughter.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
You can see the droplets of melted snow on the lens of my iPhone when I stuck it out the front door to get a photo of the snow without the distraction of a screen. Do you take the screens out of the window for the winter or do you leave them in place the way I do? I figure they will last longer and not get accidentally damaged while being stored. Plus I like the idea of being able to open a window on nice days to get some fresh air. This snow melted rather quickly and we have been having some really nice "vest" weather. [my photo]
Thank you for your words of comfort during this difficult time for my mother and me. xo
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Today is the second day my mother has been in an unresponsive deep sleep. She looks as beautiful as ever and very peaceful. I hope she knows when I'm there watching over her. Painting by Sir Edward Burne-Jones
If I had this many wonderful small drawers in my kitchen I would probably spend most of my time opening them searching for things. Eventually I would get a system going. Anyway, it's a great look!
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Monday, December 3, 2012
I missed the town Christmas Tree lighting last night because I was with my mother. It was beautiful to see in the dark coming home along with many residents' outside decorations. The weather is still nice and not too cold to work outside. I usually wait until it's frigid and my fingers won't work. Early is better because Christmas will come whether I'm ready or not. via
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Thanks for all of you kind notes regarding my mom and her move to a nursing home. She is adjusting quite well and this is such a blessing for both of us.
I reached the end of my rope on Friday and made a call to a friend of mine to get names of local nursing homes for my mother. The one at the top of her list is the closest to the cottage; I could walk there if I had to. Luck was on my side that day as I gathered my mother's hospital papers to take to the admissions director without an advance phone call or appointment. I think she could sense my desperation and she worked miracles to get my mother admitted that very afternoon. I was not aware that after a 3 day hospital stay patients have a 30 day window eligibility for a generous number of days in a nursing home to recuperate. I can't remember the exact number but I think it is around 3 weeks. It's a great place and we are both happy with the decision. Of course my mother would rather be home but she's being well cared for by very loving people and the food is good too. It's a small facility so the food is home cooked and is really delicious. Mother eats every bite and sometimes asks for between meal snacks. We went to physical therapy yesterday and she's still being evaluated. I think my mother is the envy of all the people in her wing because I spend as much time there as I can. She was so happy to see me after her first night there. She said she cried and cried because I wasn't there. Each night will get easier. I'm catching up with all the things I neglected while she was trying to get better at home. I miss her and it's my pleasure to sit with her. I can't wait to see what's for lunch today! image source
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Those of you who know me will remember that I'm wild about fonts. You can never have too many, especially when the holiday season rolls around in December. Click here to locate each one and download. Free is good!
Now that Tabitha has become an upstairs cat, she has tagged this as HER chair. She prides herself in her good taste in antiques. She prefers 18th century American ladder-back arm chairs in original paint with hand-made cushions. [my photo]
Friday, November 30, 2012
Morning light streams in through a Palladian window at Ruggles House c1818 by Aaron Sherman in Columbia Falls, Maine. via When two early risers meet in the middle, they say good morning to one another. How fun!
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Click on the link and read this wonderful essay (full size) about not shopping for one whole year called 'A Bunch Of Pretty Things I Did Not Buy' -- a small visual essay about not shopping. It's very insightful about on-line shopping. I loved it.
I've never been to Amsterdam but this might be a good reason go go. My mother would love the "housekeeping themed house". She grew up doing chores before school every day and she never lost the habit of keeping a nice house. Lately she goes around "dusting" and "washing windows". She always considered housework to be a form of recreation. Listen to the audio portion within the following link...it's very uplifting.The village where people have dementia – and fun
Click on the washing windows link for a good laugh.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Replace the kitten with my mother and this is me without the strangle hold around my mom's neck. The symptoms of the stomach flu she had have disappeared thanks to the BRAT diet but her mind is shot. She's still sweet though and appreciative of my efforts to care for her. It's a lot easier now that there aren't so many bathroom breaks. via
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
I'm glad I got out early and got home safe and sound. It's really coming down hard now and accumulating. This was NOT supposed to happen like this. It was supposed to be light and stop. What a winter! I just took this photo with my Nikon with the telephoto lens looking to the very rear of my property. It's beautiful though. Mother had a good checkup.
This is a color photo. I did not convert it to black and white. There was no color out there. Just gray and black and white.
This is a color photo. I did not convert it to black and white. There was no color out there. Just gray and black and white.
I have to go out in this wet snow in a couple of hours but am not worried. The roads are still black. I am feeling good this morning because I had a restful night and feel rather refreshed. I can't thank you enough for your words of encouragement. Who knew a blog could become a support group? I have the best followers in the world and even though we haven't met I know you are out there thinking of me. It helps to know others have been in similar situations and have such great suggestions on how to cope and become a good caregiver. xo, Rosemary
Monday, November 26, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Webster is so handsome, isn't he? He really is the world's best dog and a such good babysitter for my mom. We have follow-up appointments with two doctors tomorrow and Tuesday. I haven't had very much to say to all of my readers regarding her condition because I am usually too upset. I need a support group for caregivers in the worst way. I'm not very good at it and I hate myself for being so impatient with my lovely mother. She deserves better. Nights are the worst. We'll get through this trying time hopefully and I'll get my mom back or at least a tiny bit of her. Webster is worried too. [my photo]
This is an iPhone photo I took back in the spring with some free editing with PicMonkey for the winter. I like it, don't you? The program is not an app. Works on computer only (Mac or PC). It's awesome!
Saturday, November 24, 2012
At the Berlin Zoo in Germany, this is how they recycle their Christmas trees. They feed their elephants discarded Christmas trees thrown away by residents as well as unsold trees from vendors. I don't think I've ever seen an animal eat a whole tree, have you? It's a great idea. American zoos should try this too. Found here.
Friday, November 23, 2012
This is a beautiful video with music with a cookie artist illustrating the lyrics using royal icing as her canvas. Click here if you can't see the video. You will love it. Music: What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong.
Rachael Hale Trust, photographer
Cats have always fascinated me the way they can weave around prized possessions and almost never break anything. Enjoy the day after Thanksgiving known as Black Friday by the retailers. Eat leftovers all day too. That's the big downside to not cooking at home.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
I love this illustration by Jessie Willcox Smith of a brother and sister giving thanks for their daily bread before breakfast. I like to think this was painted to illustrate Thanksgiving morning. via
"Pluck the bird carefully and singe all over with a piece of white paper; then wipe it with a clean cloth; draw in and keep the liver and gizard.
Wash the inside well and wipe it thoroughly dry with a cloth.
Cut the neck off close to the back but leave enough of the crop skin to turn over; break the leg bone close below the knee; draw out the sinews from the thighs and flatten the breast bone to make it look plump.
Fasten the neck with a skewer over to the back; run a skewer through the pinion and thigh on the other side and press the legs as much as possible between the breast and side bones.”
A turkey of ten pounds will take about 2.5 hours to cook - a larger one three hours or more.
A never seen before 161 recipe book by Beatrix Potter has been discovered and is up for auction.
The recipes, which are believed to have been handed down over generations, include sponge cake, roast turkey and curry. The earliest entry is dated 1851 and the hand written cookbook was updated regularly over many years. Read the entire article HERE.
Beatrix Potter's recipe for Ginger BreadIngredients:
3.5 lb wheat meal
3.5 lb treacle
12 oz sugar
12 oz butter
2 oz ground ginger
1 oz pounded allspice
1 pint of ale
Add two thirds of the ale to the other ingredients and beat them well for some time then dissolve 1oz of common washing soda in the rest of the ale and add it just before you put it into the oven.
It requires a slow oven - (let all the ingredients except the flour and soda be put before the fire to dissolve for an hour or two.)