Losing My Mother

My mother lost her own mother when she was very young. I think she was around 7 years old and of course it affected her deeply. We all need to be nurtured when we are very young. My aunt Elizabeth looked exactly like my grandmother. My grandfather was handsome even after losing his hair and he had the best laugh I've ever heard. We all adored him. He remarried and we all loved Grandma too. I think this photo of my mother's parents is probably their wedding portrait April 12, 1914. 

The flowers in the lobby of the funeral home yesterday were very pretty and my mother would have loved them in real life.

I brought some of the special things she saved over the years to send away with her. A small book of poems with an inscription from my brother Tim dated 1970 with an old picture of him tucked inside. The saddest day in my mother's life was the day he died in 1978 after heart surgery. They had a mutual admiration society that surpassed the normal mother-son bond. I also included a book of poems dated 1974 inscribed from me.  I sent her away with the first Christmas card received this year from her friend Tom who still lives in her old condominium complex in Charlotte. I found an old mother's day card from me dated 2006, a picture of our pets, the leash she always used to walk Tabitha, three dog biscuits from Webster, and some chocolate-covered raisins. She never failed to comment about how much she loved these treats covered with her favorite confection. The lipstick kiss on her forehead is from me too.

I helped load her in the small black van that didn't look at all like a mortuary vehicle. I rode up front with the driver and asked him if we could stop by the cottage on our way to the appointment in Basking Ridge and he complied. I wanted her to leave from home.

I chose cremation because the body doesn't have to be embalmed if it's done within 48 hours and there is no public viewing. She wore a flannel black-watch plaid dress that she always favored and she looked like a real sleeping beauty. 

After stopping in the driveway at the cottage we went to the place and I was with her all the way until the end. I'll scatter her ashes in special places up here and down south in the spring.

My sincere appreciation to all of you who have taken the time to walk with me down this last path with my mother. You will never know how much comfort your wonderful condolences have given me even though we are virtual friends. I hope I will continue to inspire you as you have inspired me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.